watch this if you want to be more assertive…

Quick Overview

To become more assertive, one must adopt six specific mindset shifts, including understanding assertiveness's Latin root meaning 'to claim/affirm' and recognizing that assertive behavior is the most loving thing one can do for relationships, ultimately requiring years of practice like learning a new language.

Key Points: Assertiveness derives from the Latin 'ad' (to) and 'serere' (to join), forming 'asserere' meaning 'to claim/affirm', entering English in the early 17th century. Assertiveness is the middle ground on a spectrum between submissiveness and aggression; assertive role models are not arrogant but simply state their needs clearly. Being assertive is framed as the most loving action one can take for relationships because it prevents the long-term damage caused by self-editing or delayed conflict. The speaker notes that assertiveness is a habit requiring years of practice, like learning a new language, and one must be compassionate during this learning process. Mindset Shift 5 emphasizes mortality: 'You will die... So stop choking' on difficult conversations or declining invitations, as short-term discomfort outweighs long-term regret. Mindset Shift 6 reinforces that assertiveness is a skill that takes years of practice, requiring a commitment to say 'no' and complete the 'If I say no, then ' sentence to solidify the belief that saying 'no' is safe. The speaker recommends several books for further reading, including 'Difficult Conversations' by Douglas Stone and 'When I say no I feel guilty' by Manuel J. Smith.

Context: The video serves as a tutorial outlining six essential mindset shifts required for developing assertiveness, framed as a crucial skill for maintaining healthy relationships and self-respect. The presenter uses a whiteboard to illustrate concepts, starting with the etymology of the word 'assertive' and moving through psychological principles that reframe assertiveness as a loving and necessary practice rather than an aggressive act.