The myth of success | Khairani Ashry | TEDxUniversiti Brunei Darussalam

Quick Overview

Khairani Ashry argues that success is not a singular, glamorous outcome but rather a collective effort rooted in three core values inherited from tradition: Stability, Integrity, and Silaturahim (connection), which must be actively maintained even when pursuing modern ambitions.

Key Points: Success is defined not by external glamour (like Bill Gates) but by internal values like Stability, Integrity, and Silaturahim, which are passed down through generations. The speaker started her entrepreneurial venture (an ethical shopping/resale business) at age 16 after finishing her O-Levels, driven by values instilled during her upbringing. Integrity is defined as character, meaning one's actions must align with their words, especially when no one is watching, and should not be tied to job titles. Stability, in the Bruneian context, means maintaining these inherited values within the family structure and career paths, even when seeking modern, innovative opportunities. Silaturahim, meaning connection, is crucial for sustaining success, emphasizing relationships over mere transactions. The presentation uses the iceberg analogy to show that visible success is just the tip, while the bulk of the work (the submerged part) is maintaining these core values.

Context: This TEDx talk, titled "Breaking Barriers: The Myth of Success" by Khairani Ashry at Universiti Brunei Darussalam, challenges conventional, often Westernized, notions of success. Ashry argues that true, sustainable success is built upon deep-seated cultural and familial values inherited from tradition, rather than solely focusing on external achievements or wealth accumulation.

Detailed Analysis

Khairani Ashry begins by questioning the public perception of success, noting that people often associate it with figures like Bill Gates or the person sitting next to them, or simply a high job title. She asserts that success, in its truest form, is not purely personal but collective, rooted in the values passed down through her upbringing, which she summarizes as Stability, Integrity, and Silaturahim (connection). She recounts starting her first venture, an ethical shopping/resale business, at age 16 after her O-Levels, realizing that success is not just about the visible outcomes but the unseen foundation. She emphasizes that Integrity equals Character—one's actions must match their words, irrespective of external observation or professional title. Stability, particularly in the Bruneian context, involves anchoring oneself in these traditional values while navigating modern, innovative career paths, ensuring that one's career aligns with core beliefs. Finally, she stresses that Silaturahim, or connection, is vital; relationships must be nurtured beyond transactional exchanges. She concludes by quoting Howard Thurman: "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive," suggesting that living authentically according to one's values is the ultimate form of success.