Ten Suic*de Attempts and Still Standing-Tommy

Quick Overview

Tommy survived over ten suicide attempts, culminating in a failed attempt using a helium tank in a Red Robin parking lot, which ultimately served as a catalyst for his recovery after a friend challenged him to try one sober day without opiates.

Key Points: Tommy experienced his first depression around age 12 or 13, years before being diagnosed with bipolar disorder later in life. He began heavily using substances in high school to cope, prioritizing Xanax for anxiety relief, stating, "I want to feel like this every day." In 2022, Tommy attempted suicide over ten times, including three consecutive days, which he attributes to the loss of his girlfriend, his dog Coco, social isolation, and his mother moving away. His third attempt involved using a helium tank in a secluded Red Robin parking lot after texting his ex-girlfriend and sending her his checking account funds, but he was found by a police officer who happened to be his childhood friend's father. Tommy escaped being taken to the psych ward by paying an Uber driver to change his destination, realizing the psych ward is like "what the psych ward is to mental health patients is what prison is to criminals." His recovery began when his friend Eric challenged him to try going "one day sober" without opiates, which, despite his initial refusal, led to him successfully completing one sober day, the first in over a year. Tommy emphasizes that the most important lesson learned is to "just live in the present" and not obsess over the future or dwell on the past.

Context: The transcript features an interview with a man named Tommy who shares his deeply personal and traumatic history, beginning with a seemingly perfect childhood in North Jersey until his parents split around age 10 or 11, compounded by early childhood sexual trauma. This period of change led to increased isolation, forcing him to become hyper-independent, developing practical skills like flipping vintage clothing for money by age 13, but also fostering social awkwardness and an early onset of depression.