Building My Self Worth & Confidence in a Selfless Way | Irwan Tjahjadi | TEDxUNS

Quick Overview

The speaker advocates for building self-worth and confidence in a selfless way, emphasizing that individuals do not need to be "ideal" or perfect before they can believe in themselves, as this process of self-acceptance and contribution is continuous and humanizing, contrasting it with the exhausting cycle of seeking external validation and filtering one's reality.

Key Points: The speaker encourages building self-worth and confidence in a "Selfless Way," meaning focusing on contribution rather than just self-focus. Self-worth does not require one to be 'ideal' or perfect first; the speaker cites a personal turning point after his first job where he realized this. The speaker identifies three components of self-image: self-perception, perception of others' perception, and the ideal self, noting that the latter is often detached from reality (04:50). Negative self-image manifests as insecurity, overthinking (02:18), negative body image, and conditional self-love ("self-love yang penuh syarat" at 04:08). Selfless leadership involves less thinking about 'us' (the self) and more about how one's presence contributes to others (05:56). The speaker quotes Robert Tannen: 'The less I think about me, the more I actually care,' indicating that shifting focus outward reduces self-criticism and allows one to be more present (07:00). The key to building healthy self-worth is accepting oneself as a dynamic and human individual who makes mistakes, rather than striving for an unrealistic ideal (13:44).

Context: This TEDxUNS talk by Irwan Tjahjadi focuses on redefining self-worth and confidence, moving away from external validation and societal pressures toward an internal, selfless foundation. The speaker shares personal anecdotes from his early career, particularly following his first job after college, where he experienced the struggle of internalizing negative self-perceptions stemming from social media filters and unrealistic expectations. He frames his solution around the concept of 'Selfless Leadership' and 'Welasing' (compassion) toward oneself.