What Fear Was Trying to Tell Me | Teh Zhao Xiang | TEDxAsia Pacific U

Quick Overview

Teh Zhao Xiang recounts his experience overcoming intense fear of rejection, which stemmed from childhood experiences and manifested as debilitating anxiety before public speaking, by deliberately engaging in "Rejection Therapy," exemplified by asking a stranger to sing for him, ultimately teaching him that initial rejections are normal and that a strong purpose behind actions helps one stand firmly against fear.

Key Points: The speaker first experienced intense fear and anxiety related to public speaking after being forced to present by a teacher because a friend he invited failed to show up at age seven. His primary fear was the fear of standing up, speaking out, and being rejected by the public. He practiced 'Rejection Therapy' by intentionally seeking rejection, such as borrowing $100 from a stranger to buy burgers and then asking the waiter at a restaurant (a Malaysian Chinese) to sing a birthday song for free. After the first attempt, he realized that the fear wasn't about the action itself, but about how he approached it, leading him to change his strategy. The second challenge involved asking a woman wearing a hijab (a Malay woman) to take a picture with him holding a bucket lid, which she initially refused, but later agreed after he explained he was running an awareness campaign. The key lessons learned were that initial rejections are normal and that having a strong 'why' (purpose) behind actions allows one to stand firmly in the face of rejection. The speaker's overall message is to keep asking and not assume rejection before taking action, as this process leads to growth and acceptance.

Context: This TEDx talk by Teh Zhao Xiang explores the speaker's personal journey of overcoming severe social anxiety and the fear of rejection, which he traces back to a childhood event during a school boot camp. He details his self-developed method, 'Rejection Therapy,' which involves actively seeking out small rejections in daily life to build resilience and change his internal perception of failure and judgment.