The secret to being heard | Stef Reid MBE | TEDxSwansea Women

Quick Overview

The secret to being heard, according to Stef Reid MBE, is not about volume or authority, but about demonstrating competence, care, and consistency in your actions and communication, which ultimately earns you the right to be listened to by others, including those in positions of power.

Key Points: The speaker recounts a difficult decision she faced regarding a photoshoot where the shoot itself was nude, leading her to initially decline the invitation. She reveals that her mother's reaction to the situation—her parents having the right to veto the decision—highlighted the immense care and investment they had in her, despite their initial opposition to her athletic pursuits. Reid emphasizes that high-level performance in sports or business requires three Cs: Competence, Care, and Consistency, stating that these traits put you in a position of power. She cites her long jump coach, Aston, who consistently showed he cared by weaving himself through the pack during races, checking in on athletes, which built trust. The core message is that being heard is not about volume or hierarchy; it is about demonstrating genuine care and competence, which makes people listen to you. Research shows that people listen when they perceive competence, care, and consistency, not based on volume or authority.

Context: Stef Reid MBE delivers this TEDx talk at TEDxSwansea Women, sharing a personal story about a conflict between her desire to participate in a professional photoshoot and her parents' concerns about the potentially damaging nature of the images. This anecdote serves as a foundation for her central theme: that true influence and being heard stem from demonstrating competence, care, and consistency in one's actions, rather than relying on status or volume.

Detailed Analysis

Stef Reid MBE recounts an instance where she was invited to participate in a photoshoot for a major publication, but the shoot was nude, causing her to initially decline due to her parents' potential disapproval, as they had previously opposed her athletic career. She notes that her mother's insistence that they had the right to veto the decision, despite their immense care for her, revealed the depth of their investment. This personal story leads into her main thesis: the key to being heard is built on three fundamental elements: Competence, Care, and Consistency (the three Cs). She illustrates 'Care' through her coach, Aston, who consistently checked in on her during races for a year, showing he cared about her well-being, not just her results. She contrasts this with the 'subjective value of information' when people are shouting in a noisy world where no one is truly listening. Reid argues that being heard is not about power or hierarchy; it is about earning the right to be listened to by consistently demonstrating competence and genuine care for others. She concludes that this approach is what truly matters, both in sports and in the business world, as it shifts the focus from external validation to internal character.