# The Relief of Missing out | Eva De Groot | TEDxEHLLausanne

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVGTKjBdFcg
Recap page: https://rapidrecap.app/video/nVGTKjBdFcg
Generated: 2026-02-18T20:02:24.343+00:00

---
## Quick Overview

Eva de Groot argues that success is not about doing everything, but about doing the right things intentionally, emphasizing the relief found in consciously choosing what to miss out on, especially given the high-pressure environment where 42.3% of first-year university students suffer from mental health issues due to excessive demands.

**Key Points:**
- Speaker Eva de Groot argues that the pursuit of doing everything leads to burnout, citing that 42.3% of first-year university students suffer from mental health issues due to high pressure.
- She recounts her personal story of initially pursuing everything—committees, podcasts, books, internships—while studying hospitality, only to realize this path did not align with her true goal of studying economics.
- The speaker discovered that success requires focusing on the right things intentionally, rather than trying to keep up with constant technological change, 24/7 communication, and external expectations.
- A key turning point was realizing that her internship experience, despite being in a prestigious field, was not fulfilling and did not align with her goals.
- De Groot emphasizes that the antidote to this overwhelm is embracing the 'Relief of missing out' (FOMO's opposite) by consciously choosing what opportunities or commitments to skip.
- She advises the audience to ask if their current efforts contribute to their end goal or merely satisfy external expectations, urging them to stop chasing pebbles aimlessly.
- The main takeaway is that success is achieved by intentionally choosing what *not* to do, thereby protecting one's well-being and focusing on what truly matters.

![Screenshot at 00:15: Eva de Groot stands on the TEDx stage, dressed in a dark pinstripe suit, preparing to deliver her talk on rejecting the pressure to do everything in pursuit of success.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/nVGTKjBdFcg/00-00-15.jpg)

**Context:** Eva de Groot delivers a TEDx talk at TEDx EHL Lausanne titled 'The Relief of missing out: why doing everything won't make you successful.' She discusses the pervasive pressure on young adults, particularly students, to constantly participate in every available activity, leading to burnout and mental health struggles. De Groot uses her personal journey from being overwhelmed by extracurriculars and commitments in hospitality to realizing the importance of intentional focus to achieve genuine success.

## Detailed Analysis

Eva de Groot begins by describing a state of constant mental exhaustion, where the pressure to attend every event, read every book, and answer emails at 1 AM felt inescapable. She shares a personal anecdote about her time as a student, where she was involved in numerous committees, fundraising events, and academic pursuits like an essay for the next day, all while trying to keep up with her intended major in economics despite initially studying hospitality due to external pressure. She highlights a stark statistic: 42.3% of first-year university students suffer from mental health issues resulting from this high-pressure environment, where everyone fights for the best internship or GPA. De Groot realized that her frantic schedule, filled with constant communication and exposure, was not leading to her true goals. The crucial realization came when she recognized that success is not about doing everything, but about doing the *right* things intentionally. She advocates for embracing the opposite of FOMO—the 'Relief of Missing Out'—by consciously deciding what to exclude from one's life. She challenges the audience to question whether their actions contribute to their personal end goal or simply meet others' expectations. Ultimately, de Groot concludes that true success is built on intentionality, choosing to prioritize one's well-being over the relentless pursuit of external validation through constant busyness.

### Personal Context and Overwhelm

- Stuck at her desk at midnight with an unfinished essay, student council meetings, and fundraising events looming; the noise of constant demands was overwhelming her.
- She initially enrolled in hospitality because of external pressure, not internal passion, despite wanting to study economics, illustrating a misalignment of effort and goals.

### The Problem of 'Doing Everything'

- Cites that 42.3% of first-year university students suffer from mental health issues due to high pressure like fighting for the best GPA and internships.
- Constant technological change, 24/7 communication, and immense pressure to respond to emails at 1 AM forces students to be 'always on.'

### The Solution

- The Relief of Missing Out (ROMO): Success is not doing everything, but doing the right things intentionally.
- She urges the audience to ask if their efforts lead to their end goal or just meet expectations, advocating for intentional exclusion.

### Conclusion

- Intentionality turns hard work into a path toward success; feeling the relief of missing out on things that do not serve your true path is key to well-being.

![Screenshot at 00:20: The projection screen displays the talk title: 'Eva de Groot \| The Relief of missing out: why doing everything won't make you successful'.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/nVGTKjBdFcg/00-00-20.jpg)
![Screenshot at 00:30: De Groot, in a dark pinstripe suit, emphasizes her point, gesturing with both hands to illustrate the overwhelming nature of trying to do everything.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/nVGTKjBdFcg/00-00-30.jpg)
![Screenshot at 01:24: De Groot discusses her initial path, noting that her good grades in hospitality and the pressure from teachers to study economics did not align with her actual desire to study wine and cocktails.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/nVGTKjBdFcg/00-01-24.jpg)
![Screenshot at 03:31: De Groot presents the statistic that 42.3% of first-year university students suffer from mental health issues due to high pressure, such as fighting for the best GPA or internship.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/nVGTKjBdFcg/00-03-31.jpg)
![Screenshot at 06:08: De Groot summarizes her core message, stating that feeling it is 'completely normal and even somewhat necessary' at their age to crave success and put pressure on themselves, but this must be channeled intentionally.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/nVGTKjBdFcg/00-06-08.jpg)