# Try Spending Less Time With Your Kids - Dr. Camilo Ortiz

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byoGfuFucPU
Recap page: https://rapidrecap.app/video/byoGfuFucPU
Generated: 2025-12-23T22:33:36.968+00:00

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## Quick Overview

Dr. Camilo Ortiz, a clinical psychologist, argues that fathers spending less time with their kids, compared to mothers, leads to boys being less independent and more prone to anxiety, risky behavior, and emotional instability, a phenomenon he calls the "4 Ds" (discomfort, distress, disappointment, danger) which is exacerbated by societal trends like the rise of figures like Nick Fuentes and the focus on female-centric parenting models.

**Key Points:**
- Parents spending less time with their children, especially fathers, correlates with negative outcomes for boys, including increased anxiety and risk-taking behavior.
- Dr. Ortiz cites research suggesting that boys who lack adequate paternal involvement may fail to develop skills in assessing and solving problems around danger.
- The speaker identifies a societal trend where mothers are often encouraged to be constantly present, while fathers are implicitly or explicitly encouraged to be less involved, which he sees as detrimental to boys' development.
- The negative outcomes for boys are summarized by the concept of the '4 Ds': Discomfort, Distress, Disappointment, and Danger, which arise when independence is stifled.
- He notes that while both parents value independence, mothers are statistically less willing to allow children independence compared to fathers.
- The discussion touches upon John Haidt's work regarding the differences between male and female cohorts regarding risk-taking and the societal pressure towards 'feminine' parenting styles.
- Ortiz mentions his own therapeutic framework, 'Independence Therapy,' developed specifically to address these issues in anxious children.

![Screenshot at 00:03: Dr. Camilo Ortiz, a clinical psychologist, introduces the topic by stating that parents spending less time with their kids may seem like a good thing but research suggests otherwise for many outcomes.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/byoGfuFucPU/00-00-03.jpg)

**Context:** The video features an interview between Dr. Camilo Ortiz, identified as a clinical psychologist, and John Papola, CEO/Filmmaker of the Divergent Order Foundation. The conversation centers on the psychological and societal impact of differential parenting styles between mothers and fathers, specifically how reduced paternal involvement affects boys' development, risk assessment, and emotional regulation, contrasting this with modern societal pressures.

## Detailed Analysis

Dr. Camilo Ortiz discusses the negative consequences for boys when fathers spend less time with them compared to mothers, referencing mounting research that suggests this imbalance contributes to increased anxiety, risk-taking, and emotional fragility in young males. He points out that while both parents value independence, mothers statistically show less willingness to allow children to experience necessary discomforts or risks, leading to boys lacking experience in assessing and solving dangerous situations. Ortiz calls this pattern the '4 Ds' (Discomfort, Distress, Disappointment, Danger) that boys need to navigate for healthy development. He contrasts this with the historical norm where fathers often encouraged risk-taking, citing Jonathan Haidt's work on cohort differences. He notes that the current societal environment, including political figures like Nick Fuentes and the general trend toward 'feminine' parenting, exacerbates this issue by prioritizing safety over necessary risk exposure, ultimately harming boys' ability to cope with real-world challenges. He mentions developing 'Independence Therapy' to treat anxious children by actively exposing them to controlled risk and independence.

### Paternal Involvement & Boy's Development

- Parents spending more time with kids isn't always good
- leads to boys feeling disempowered
- boys need exposure to risk to learn assessment/problem-solving
- fathers are statistically more willing to allow independence than mothers

### Societal Trends & Anxiety

- Rise of figures like Nick Fuentes and social justice discussions are mentioned
- Societal focus on safety over risk exposure is creating anxious kids
- The '4 Ds' (Discomfort, Distress, Disappointment, Danger) are the consequence of stifled independence

### Therapeutic Approach

- Ortiz developed 'Independence Therapy' for anxious kids
- It involves taking kids out of the office to practice daily doses of independence
- This is an effective, low-effort treatment for anxiety

![Screenshot at 00:02: Dr. Ortiz is introduced as a clinical psychologist discussing parental time spent with children.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/byoGfuFucPU/00-00-02.jpg)
![Screenshot at 00:34: John Papola, CEO/Filmmaker of the Divergent Order Foundation, appears to respond to Dr. Ortiz's points.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/byoGfuFucPU/00-00-34.jpg)
![Screenshot at 00:55: John Papola gestures widely while discussing the underreported factors impacting different cultural cohorts in America.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/byoGfuFucPU/00-00-55.jpg)
![Screenshot at 01:05: Split screen view of Dr. Ortiz \(left\) and John Papola \(right\) during their discussion.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/byoGfuFucPU/00-01-05.jpg)
![Screenshot at 02:06: John Papola references the return of Donald Trump to the White House and the peak of social justice movements as cultural context.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/byoGfuFucPU/00-02-06.jpg)