# How to train your curiosity muscle | Kelly Indira Buis | TEDxTheHague Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bC6cbCj3NM Recap page: https://rapidrecap.app/video/_bC6cbCj3NM Generated: 2025-12-12T17:15:23.241+00:00 --- ## Quick Overview Kelly Indira Buis argues that individuals must actively train their "curiosity muscle" by intentionally seeking out and engaging with perspectives vastly different from their own, especially those they disagree with, as this practice is essential for bridging societal divides and fostering adaptability in a rapidly changing world. **Key Points:** - Individuals must train their "curiosity muscle" through interactions with people who view the world differently, especially those they disagree with. - The speaker, a trained conflict analyst, cites her work in Lebanon (a country scarred by civil war and political tensions involving 18 religious denominations) as a formative experience. - A key principle learned from her work with a political opponent named Tarek, who initially held strong opposing views, was the necessity of intergroup contact. - The goal of this curiosity training is to reduce prejudice and the "us versus them" distinction, moving people from foes to friends. - A 2024 study from the Center for Bureau of Statistics showed that higher income correlates with more segregated social circles in the Netherlands. - The four steps to training curiosity involve picking an interesting topic, finding someone to talk to with opposing views, daring to be wrong, and reflecting afterward. - Curiosity is identified as the essential ingredient for adaptability, helping bridge divides that thrive on black-and-white thinking. ![Screenshot at 00:26: 34:The speaker gestures widely while explaining that curiosity allows individuals to "zoom out of our bubble" and break down the walls dividing people in society.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/_bC6cbCj3NM/00-00-26.png) **Context:** Kelly Indira Buis, a conflict analyst and international consultant, delivers this TEDx talk focused on the necessity of cultivating genuine curiosity to overcome polarization and societal division. The talk uses her personal experience working on post-conflict reconciliation projects in Lebanon, where diverse religious and ethnic groups were separated by physical and ideological barriers, as the primary illustration for her call to action. ## Detailed Analysis Kelly Indira Buis asserts that to bridge societal divides, individuals must actively train their "curiosity muscle," which she defines as the capacity to understand another person's viewpoint without judgment, rather than simply trying to be right. She recounts her experience in Lebanon following a 15-year civil war, where efforts to reconcile historically divided neighborhoods (separated by a single road) were initially hindered by mutual distrust. She met individuals like Tarek, a critic of her own political party, whom she initially disliked but later grew to love by engaging deeply with his perspective. This experience led her to formalize four steps for cultivating curiosity: pick an interesting topic, find someone with a different worldview to talk to, dare to be wrong, and reflect afterward. Buis notes that higher income correlates with increased social segregation (citing a 2024 statistics study), making this active curiosity practice even more vital for maintaining social cohesion and adaptability in a world that thrives on simplistic, binary thinking. ### The Need for Curiosity - Curiosity helps bridge divides between people and society, acting as a muscle that needs training instead of physical exercise. ### Lebanon Experience - Working in Beirut after the civil war, she saw how distrust prevented mingling between historically divided religious/ethnic groups separated only by a road. ### The Role of Tarek - Meeting Tarek, a political opponent she initially hated, taught her the value of listening to opposing narratives and challenging her own assumptions. ### Four Steps to Training Curiosity - 1. Pick an interesting topic. 2. Find someone to talk to with a different worldview. 3. Dare to be wrong. 4. Reflect afterward. ### The Outcome - Curiosity is essential for adaptability, creating a social glue necessary for diverse societies, especially those dealing with ingrained conflict and high segregation. ![Screenshot at 00:00: 19:The introductory slide displays the theme 'ZOOM OUT' alongside a stylized outline of the globe.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/_bC6cbCj3NM/00-00-00.png) ![Screenshot at 00:05: 47:A close-up shot shows the audience listening intently, highlighting the diverse composition of the attendees.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/_bC6cbCj3NM/00-00-05.png) ![Screenshot at 00:23: 04:The speaker uses expansive hand gestures to illustrate the broad scope of topics one can be curious about.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/_bC6cbCj3NM/00-00-23.png) ![Screenshot at 01:37: 37:The speaker directly asks the audience if they were trying to be right or attempting to discover the other person's view during a disagreement.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/_bC6cbCj3NM/00-01-37.png) ![Screenshot at 02:58: 00:The speaker summarizes the goal: to join initiatives that help reconcile historically divided groups and facilitate cooperation.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/_bC6cbCj3NM/00-02-58.png)