How to start putting your happiness first | Ashleigh Maxcey | TEDxNashville

Quick Overview

Ashleigh Maxcey argues that happiness is a skill that can be cultivated through specific, intentional behaviors, asserting that happiness leads to success, not the reverse, and this realization changed how she taught positive psychology.

Key Points: Parents often desire their children to be happy, but society prioritizes systems emphasizing achievement and possessions over happiness. Happiness is a skill, not a universally desired state that just happens, and it can be taught, practiced, and improved. Scientific evidence suggests up to 40% of happiness is within an individual's direct daily control through intentional behaviors. Maxcey shares her personal story of being paralyzed from the waist down, which took years to recover from, highlighting the importance of learning to live with chronic pain. Students in her Positive Psychology class, despite initial skepticism toward 'woo-woo bullshit,' found practices like writing letters of forgiveness helpful. The core finding is that happiness leads to success, not the other way around; prioritizing happiness creates a positive feedback loop for achievement and longevity.

Context: Ashleigh Maxcey, Professor of Positive Psychology at Vanderbilt, delivers a TEDx talk arguing against the common societal structure that values achievement and possessions over well-being. She frames happiness as a skill that can be actively developed through specific, evidence-based behaviors, challenging the conventional notion that success must precede happiness. She uses anecdotes from her own life and her students' experiences to illustrate how prioritizing happiness creates tangible, positive outcomes in life and work.

Detailed Analysis

Ashleigh Maxcey begins by noting the common parental wish for children to be happy, contrasting this with societal structures that emphasize achievement, productivity, and possessions, thereby putting the cart before the horse regarding happiness. She asserts that happiness is a skill, citing science showing that approximately 40% of happiness is within an individual's direct daily control through intentional behaviors like practicing gratitude and forgiveness, rather than being purely genetic or external. Maxcey shares a profound personal turning point: after suffering a severe injury (a ruptured disc and pinched spinal cord) at age 33 that left her paralyzed, it took years to relearn mobility, forcing her to shift her focus from external achievements to internal well-being. This experience influenced her teaching of Positive Psychology, leading her to assign happiness-boosting habits like practicing forgiveness solely for oneself, rather than for external payoff. She notes that her students initially approached this with skepticism, but ultimately found these activities helpful. The core argument is that happiness leads to success—not the other way around. People who build joy are more resilient, focused, connected, and live longer, suggesting that systems (in education, workplaces, and communities) need to embed happiness-promoting norms rather than treating it as a reward achieved only after success is found.