Why caring what people think makes you miserable

Quick Overview

Caring what other people think makes people miserable because it causes them to subjugate their own well-being, morals, and interests to external validation, which philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer identified as the most inferior source of happiness, ranking below what a person is and what they possess.

Key Points: Schopenhauer ranks the three blessings of life for happiness as: (1) What a man is (character, intelligence), (2) What a man has (property), and (3) How a man stands in the estimation of others, considering the third class the most inferior. People concerned with opinions often "reverse the natural order," regarding others' opinions as "real existence" and their own consciousness as "shadowy" and "secondary." Chasing external approval leads people to sacrifice their true self, resulting in a life that becomes a performance where actions, like clothing choices or relationships, serve only to gain validation. Schopenhauer criticized the opinions of the masses, calling them often "false, erroneous, perverse, and absurd" because most people's thoughts are superficial and futile. The primary way to end the folly of chasing approval is to "see clearly that it is a folly," recognizing that external validation rarely adds real value to life. Happiness is found by focusing on the first blessing—who we are, how we think and feel, and how we live our lives—choosing for ourselves rather than for an audience. Schopenhauer noted that people often speak with depreciation of others when they do not fear them, exemplified by anonymous trolls online who say disgusting things without consequence.

Context: The video explores the philosophical perspective of Arthur Schopenhauer regarding the human obsession with seeking the approval and opinions of others, using a story of a king obsessed with his image as an initial example. Schopenhauer, who preferred solitude and the company of his dog Atman, developed an outsider's view on human behavior, encapsulated in his essay, The Wisdom of Life, where he critiques modern society's prioritization of reputation over intrinsic self-worth.