How I Wrote My Way Out of Trauma | Benita-Maria Kelechi Opara | TEDxLagos

Quick Overview

The speaker, Benita-Maria Kelechi Opara, shares her personal journey of overcoming trauma, which began after being kidnapped at age 13, by using poetry as a tool for self-expression, emotional regulation, and ultimately, healing and self-validation, emphasizing that poetry allows survivors to process unspeakable experiences and transform from victims into survivors.

Key Points: The speaker was kidnapped eight days after turning 13, an event that left her with severe trauma. She coped by writing extensively in poetry, often in the third person, to create emotional distance from her pain. The speaker identifies with many children and youth globally, especially in Nigeria, who suffer various types of trauma but lack resources to process it. Poetry serves as a prescription that helps manage emotions, fight trauma (like the David vs. Goliath narrative), and avoid becoming stuck as a victim. Writing poetry allows survivors to give voice to the unspeakable and gain validation that external sources often fail to provide. The act of writing poetry helps survivors move from feeling weak and seeking external validation to becoming self-aware and building self-confidence. The core message is that poetry offers a means to heal the parts of oneself that constantly seek attention or validation due to past trauma.

Context: This TEDxLagos talk features Benita-Maria Kelechi Opara recounting the profound impact of trauma, specifically stemming from a kidnapping she endured shortly after her thirteenth birthday. She frames poetry not just as an art form but as a vital therapeutic tool—a 'prescription' for managing the emotional fallout of such horrific experiences, especially for young survivors who often lack conventional support or language to describe their pain.

Detailed Analysis

Benita-Maria Kelechi Opara delivers a deeply personal narrative about surviving trauma following her kidnapping at age 13. She explains that for eight days after the incident, she was unable to speak, and her initial coping mechanism was writing poetry. Initially, she wrote in the third person to maintain a sense of detachment from the intense physical pain and emotional distress she felt, praying for a prescription that would take the pain away. She argues that many children and youth globally, particularly in Nigeria, experience trauma but cannot find the vocabulary or external validation to process it, leading them to act out or seek attention. Opara asserts that poetry acts as that necessary prescription, helping survivors fight their internal 'Goliath' of trauma. By writing, survivors can articulate the unspeakable, gain self-validation, and reframe their identity from being a victim to being a survivor. She encourages the audience to consider what part of themselves poetry could heal—be it the part seeking validation or the part that feels weak—stressing that the power lies in the act of writing itself, which fosters self-awareness and builds confidence, irrespective of one's profession or age.