Does nostalgia just happen or is it a choice? | Bekah Liechty | TEDxNashvilleWomen

Quick Overview

Nostalgia is presented not as an involuntary event, but as a conscious choice that involves selectively remembering positive aspects of the past to fuel the present and future, which Bekah Liechty illustrates through a personal song written after her brother's death.

Key Points: Bekah Liechty argues that nostalgia is a choice, not something that simply happens to us, emphasizing that we choose what to focus on from the past. She shared a song titled "Wild Water" written when she was nine years old after her best friend, Abigail, died in a car accident. The accident left the speaker feeling numb, unable to process the loss, prompting her to write the song as a coping mechanism. The song describes the feeling of loss but ultimately suggests that remembering the good moments, rather than dwelling on the pain, is how we keep loved ones alive. She notes that the song was written for her brother, Tom, who was driving during the accident, and that the memory of that moment became a "portal" to the love and presence she still draws from. Liechty performs the song with two acoustic guitar players, one of whom is her brother, Josh, who was in the car with her during the accident. The core message is that nostalgia, when chosen intentionally, can be a source of optimism and strength, helping people carry through grief.

Context: Bekah Liechty delivers a TEDx talk at TEDxNashvilleWomen about the nature of nostalgia, framing it as an active choice rather than a passive occurrence. She recounts a deeply personal story involving the loss of her best friend, Abigail, in a car accident when Liechty was nine, which led her to write a song titled "Wild Water" as a way to process the overwhelming grief and numbness she experienced.

Detailed Analysis

Bekah Liechty argues that nostalgia is not an automatic event but a deliberate choice, asserting that we choose what memories to focus on from the past. She shares the story of losing her best friend, Abigail, in a car accident when she was nine years old. In the aftermath, she felt too numb to process the loss, leading her to write her first song, "Wild Water," which she performed live with two musicians (including her brother Josh, who was also in the car). The song served as a coping mechanism, allowing her to record the experience without fully feeling the pain at the time. Liechty explains that she now chooses to focus on the love and presence she shared with Abigail rather than the traumatic moment of loss, suggesting that this intentional use of memory helps carry one through grief and fosters optimism. She concludes that memories, especially those tied to loved ones, become a vital, sacred reservoir of love and presence that we can actively draw upon.