# How can we help children separated from their parents? | Ashley Viagbo | TEDxLargo

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJr05a3SGTo
Recap page: https://rapidrecap.app/video/DJr05a3SGTo
Generated: 2026-01-11T06:32:33.64+00:00

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## Quick Overview

The distance between separated families, stemming from events like deportation, illness, or systemic failures in child welfare, can cause profound psychological harm like anxiety and depression, but healing and restoration are possible through consistent support, fostering a sense of belonging, and shifting from a child protection focus to a family protection focus.

**Key Points:**
- Ashley Viagbo recounts being separated from her mother at age nine when her mother was arrested and subsequently deported from the US back to Sierra Leone.
- The speaker emphasizes that the trauma of separation—whether due to deportation, illness, incarceration, divorce, or adoption—is not unique and affects millions of children annually.
- Research from the NIH shows that 33% of children experience at least one stressful life-changing event before the fifth grade, leading to long-term psychological effects like PTSD and anxiety.
- The speaker argues for a shift in focus within child welfare systems from a child protection focus to a family protection focus, ensuring consistency and support for the entire unit.
- A key takeaway is that separation does not have to result in lifelong, deep-seated wounds, as healing and restoration are achievable.
- The speaker concludes by stating that every child deserves stability, survival, feeling understood, and a sense of belonging, urging the audience to reimagine how they care for separated children.

![Screenshot at 00:11: Ashley Viagbo begins her talk by recounting the moment her mother was arrested when she was nine years old, setting the stage for her personal narrative on family separation.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/DJr05a3SGTo/00-00-11.jpg)

**Context:** This TEDxLargo talk, titled 'The Distance Between Us,' is a personal narrative delivered by Ashley Viagbo, who shares her experience of being separated from her mother at age nine due to her mother's arrest and subsequent deportation to Sierra Leone. She uses this deeply personal story to discuss the widespread psychological impact of family separation, whether caused by systemic issues like immigration policies or personal crises like illness or divorce, and advocates for systemic changes in how children in these situations are supported.

## Detailed Analysis

Ashley Viagbo begins her talk by sharing the traumatic moment her mother was arrested when she was nine years old, leading to their separation and deportation back to Sierra Leone. She vividly recalls the heavy knock at the door at 7:05 AM and the subsequent feeling of fear and confusion, noting that her mother's predicament—having to leave her children behind—seemed like an incredibly important piece of paper to the officers, but devastating to their family. After returning to Sierra Leone, Viagbo and her sister experienced eight years of separation, marked by anxiety, depression, withdrawal, and academic struggles, as they navigated a new life, new rules, and a new way of living. She points out that this experience is not unique, citing research showing millions of children annually suffer similar separation trauma due to causes like foster care, adoption, immigration, divorce, or incarceration. Research from the NIH indicates that 33% of children experience at least one stressful, life-changing event before the fifth grade, leading to long-term psychological effects. Viagbo argues that the focus of support systems, particularly in schools, needs to shift from solely child protection to family protection, ensuring resources like mental health support and community partnerships are available to keep the family unit together if possible. She concludes that healing and restoration are possible, emphasizing that every child needs stability, survival, understanding, and a sense of belonging, urging the audience to reimagine how they care for separated children.

### Personal Trauma of Separation

- Mother arrested and deported when speaker was nine years old
- Speaker and sister experienced an eight-year separation
- Felt immediate fear, confusion, and later, anxiety and depression.

### Scope of the Problem

- Separation affects millions of children yearly due to deportation, illness, adoption, divorce, and incarceration
- NIH study shows 33% of children face a major stressful event before fifth grade.

### Systemic Failures and Effects

- Trauma manifests as anxiety, depression, and difficulty forming stable relationships
- Current child welfare systems focus on child protection rather than family protection.

### Proposed Solutions

- Advocate for shifting focus to family protection
- Support systems must provide consistent access to mental health resources and community partnerships.

### Conclusion and Call to Action

- Healing and restoration are possible
- Every child deserves stability, belonging, and support, urging the audience to reimagine care for separated children.

![Screenshot at 00:05: Sponsor logos displayed: The Arc Prince George's County and Prince George's Community College.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/DJr05a3SGTo/00-00-05.jpg)
![Screenshot at 00:10: Speaker Ashley Viagbo standing center stage at TEDxLargo, ready to begin her talk.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/DJr05a3SGTo/00-00-10.jpg)
![Screenshot at 02:33: Slide appears on screen displaying the speaker's name and talk title: Ashley Viagbo, 'The Distance Between Us'.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/DJr05a3SGTo/00-02-33.jpg)
![Screenshot at 03:44: Audience reaction showing a woman looking intently at the speaker while holding her hands together.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/DJr05a3SGTo/00-03-44.jpg)
![Screenshot at 08:45: Audience members seated in the theater, one woman wearing glasses and a Nirvana shirt looks on attentively.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/DJr05a3SGTo/00-08-45.jpg)
