# The Circle of Kindness | Anastasia Gaulin | TEDxCégep Champlain St Lawrence

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBKFC3hTnA8
Recap page: https://rapidrecap.app/video/CBKFC3hTnA8
Generated: 2026-03-09T16:07:41.527+00:00

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## Quick Overview

The speaker argues that kindness must first be directed inward as self-kindness, which activates brain systems associated with positive feelings and self-regulation, enabling individuals to better care for others and ultimately creating a positive ripple effect known as 'The Circle of Kindness'.

**Key Points:**
- Kindness is often directed outward, but the speaker posits that self-kindness is the necessary foundation for sustainable altruism.
- Research published in the British Journal of Psychiatry (2020) shows that self-criticism activates the amygdala's alarm system, which is associated with threat detection.
- Practicing self-kindness activates the same brain systems that release feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and endorphins, promoting well-being.
- Self-kindness enhances cognitive flexibility, helping individuals redirect negative self-talk and cope better with failures.
- The speaker uses the analogy of a phone battery: without charging yourself (self-kindness), you cannot sustain giving to others.
- The ultimate goal is for kindness to start within and radiate outward, completing 'The Circle of Kindness' for both the giver and receiver.

![Screenshot at 00:08: The speaker begins her presentation by posing a direct question to the audience about the last time someone surprised them with kindness, setting up the theme of reciprocal kindness.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/CBKFC3hTnA8/00-00-08.jpg)

**Context:** Anastasia Gaulin delivers a TEDx talk centered on the concept of 'The Circle of Kindness,' drawing a contrast between the common practice of showing kindness to others and the overlooked necessity of practicing self-kindness. She references psychological research, specifically from the British Journal of Psychiatry in 2020, to explain the neurological effects of self-criticism versus self-compassion on the brain's threat detection and reward systems.

## Detailed Analysis

The speaker introduces the concept of 'The Circle of Kindness,' arguing that while most people readily offer kindness to others—often spurred by simple external cues—they often fail to offer the same kindness to themselves, instead resorting to harsh self-criticism. She explains that this internal negativity, when spoken internally (e.g., 'I'm so stupid'), activates the amygdala, the brain's alarm system, which is typically reserved for external threats. Conversely, practicing self-kindness activates brain reward systems, releasing chemicals like oxytocin and endorphins, which enhance feelings of well-being. Citing research from the British Journal of Psychiatry (2020), she notes that self-kindness improves cognitive flexibility and helps individuals manage setbacks better than self-criticism. The speaker emphasizes that self-kindness is not selfish; it is the necessary fuel (like charging a phone battery) that enables one to continue being kind to others. If the inner circle of kindness to oneself breaks, the ability to extend kindness outward diminishes. Therefore, people who lead with self-kindness, rather than self-criticism, are better equipped to radiate positivity to the world.

### Introduction to Kindness

- Recalling being surprised by kindness vs. asking when the audience was last kind to themselves
- The common tendency to be harsh and unforgiving toward the self.

### The Science of Self-Criticism vs. Self-Kindness

- Citing British Journal of Psychiatry research showing self-criticism activates the amygdala (alarm system)
- Self-kindness activates reward systems releasing oxytocin and endorphins.

### Benefits of Self-Kindness

- Self-kindness improves cognitive flexibility and better coping mechanisms for failures, unlike self-criticism.

### The Circle of Kindness Analogy

- Explaining that self-kindness is like charging one's battery; without it, one cannot sustain giving to others
- The virtuous cycle where internal kindness radiates outward.

![Screenshot at 00:04: Slide displaying sponsors' logos, which is skipped over as the speaker moves to the main content.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/CBKFC3hTnA8/00-00-04.jpg)
![Screenshot at 00:08: Slide displaying the title of the talk, 'The Circle of Kindness,' against a light blue background.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/CBKFC3hTnA8/00-00-08.jpg)
![Screenshot at 01:02: Slide contrasting 'Kindness to Others' \(depicted by a helping hand silhouette\) with 'Kindness to Yourself' \(depicted by ripples in water\), illustrating the core theme.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/CBKFC3hTnA8/00-01-02.jpg)
![Screenshot at 02:08: Slide titled 'Kindness to Yourself' showing a woman embracing herself, emphasizing self-compassion.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/CBKFC3hTnA8/00-02-08.jpg)