# My parents are deaf—and it matters less than you think | Matthew Cooper | TEDxUTulsa

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28gBP0-8kRo
Recap page: https://rapidrecap.app/video/28gBP0-8kRo
Generated: 2025-12-28T23:32:14.907+00:00

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## Quick Overview

The speaker, Matthew Cooper, argues that being a child of deaf adults (CODA) is not a disability but a cultural identity, emphasizing that the perceived limitations are often due to societal barriers and a lack of understanding rather than inherent deficits in deaf individuals or their hearing children.

**Key Points:**
- The speaker, Matthew Cooper, is a CODA (Child of Deaf Adult) who grew up in a household where his parents communicated using American Sign Language (ASL).
- Cooper contrasts 'Deaf people' (culturally Deaf, ASL users) with 'deaf people' (audiological deafness), noting that 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents.
- He cites Paul Preston's 1992 book, *A Life with Two Languages*, which describes CODAs as being 'neither deaf nor hearing' and highlights ASL's unique syntax and grammar.
- The difficulty for CODAs often lies in navigating the hearing world's perception, where interpreter access in crucial situations like medical emergencies is sometimes denied or delayed.
- Cooper points out that Deaf culture is collectivist, similar to Native American tribes, valuing community over individualism, which contrasts with mainstream hearing society.
- He concludes that the struggle is not being deaf, but navigating a world that views deafness as a disability and often fails to provide necessary accommodations, such as interpreter services, even when requested.

![Screenshot at 00:07: Matthew Cooper on stage at TEDxUTulsa, with the event branding visible, preparing to discuss his experience as a CODA in a presentation titled 'Between Two Worlds'.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/28gBP0-8kRo/00-00-07.jpg)

**Context:** Matthew Cooper delivered this TEDx talk at the University of Tulsa (TEDxUTulsa) to share his personal experience growing up as a CODA, or Child of Deaf Adults. He recounts early childhood memories, such as moving from Tulsa to Ohio and encountering confusion when using sign language with his parents in front of hearing people, leading him to realize the societal gap between the hearing and Deaf worlds.

## Detailed Analysis

Matthew Cooper begins by recounting a childhood moment at age six when his family moved from Tulsa, Oklahoma, to Ohio, and he realized his family was perceived as 'different' because his parents used sign language. This initiated his awareness of the two worlds he inhabited: the Deaf world and the hearing world. He clarifies that the term 'coda' refers to children of deaf adults, and he cites Paul Preston's 1992 book, which describes CODAs as existing 'neither deaf nor hearing,' similar to children of immigrant parents. Cooper emphasizes that Deaf culture is collectivist, contrasting with mainstream individualistic culture, and that ASL is a unique, fully grammatical language. He states that 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents, which often results in hearing children serving as primary interpreters, sometimes in high-stakes situations like medical emergencies where interpreters were denied or delayed, forcing the CODA into that role while still processing the trauma. He argues that the issue isn't deafness itself being a disability, but rather the lack of accessibility and the societal perception that views deafness—and by extension, CODAs—as inherently disabled or 'weird.' He concludes by emphasizing that both Deaf and hearing cultures are rich and deserve celebration, and the challenge lies in bridging the gap and ensuring equal access, exemplified by the fact that the University of Oklahoma School for the Deaf offers free online ASL classes to foster better connection.

### Early Realizations

- First realizing family was 'different' at age six after moving from Tulsa to Ohio
- Parents' use of sign language caused confusion among hearing peers
- This realization led to understanding the gap between the Deaf and hearing worlds.

### Defining Deaf Culture and CODAs

- Cites Paul Preston's work defining CODAs as existing 'neither deaf nor hearing'
- Compares Deaf culture's collectivism to Native American tribes, contrasting it with mainstream hearing culture's individualism
- ASL possesses its own syntax and grammar, making it a unique language, not just 'English on the hands'.

### Challenges of Interpretation

- Recounts his parents needing an interpreter for a 15-day hospital stay and the difficulty in securing one, highlighting systemic barriers
- Discusses the pressure on CODAs to interpret, even in stressful medical situations, rather than being neutral bystanders.

### Societal Perception and Advocacy

- States that the hardest part of being a CODA is witnessing strangers judge his parents based on their deafness
- Argues that Deaf people as a cultural group are not disabled, although individuals can be audiologically deaf and disabled.

### Conclusion and Call to Action

- Encourages learning the ASL alphabet and basic introductions to foster inclusion
- Mentions the University of Oklahoma School for the Deaf offers free online ASL classes to promote connection.

![Screenshot at 00:01: The opening title card for the presentation: TEDxUTulsa, set against an aerial, sepia-toned view of a university campus.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/28gBP0-8kRo/00-00-01.jpg)
![Screenshot at 00:10: Matthew Cooper standing on the red circular stage rug, beginning his talk, gesturing with his right hand.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/28gBP0-8kRo/00-00-10.jpg)
![Screenshot at 00:36: Cooper discusses his parents' confusion when he used sign language, gesturing with his hands to illustrate communication.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/28gBP0-8kRo/00-00-36.jpg)
![Screenshot at 01:11: Cooper uses hand gestures to illustrate the contrast between his experience and that of hearing peers.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/28gBP0-8kRo/00-01-11.jpg)
![Screenshot at 04:49: Cooper explains the difficulty in securing an interpreter during his parent's medical emergency, noting it took 48 hours to fulfill the request.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/28gBP0-8kRo/00-04-49.jpg)