The Hidden Psychology of Raises

Quick Overview

Jordan Peterson and Chris Voss discuss the psychology behind negotiation, emphasizing that people often sabotage their success by not knowing what they want or how to articulate it, leading to an adversarial mindset instead of a collaborative one, a concept Voss applies to job negotiations where employees often fail to make a compelling case for their value or advancement.

Key Points: People are often remarkably bad at negotiating because they haven't been trained in it, leading them to negotiate against themselves or take hostage-like positions. A key reason for poor negotiation is not knowing what one actually wants or how to articulate that desire clearly to the other party. Voss suggests that in job negotiations, employees fail to make a compelling case for their value, skills, or desired advancement, often settling for less or acting resentful. The fundamental principle to avoid self-sabotage is to approach negotiation as a collaboration rather than an adversarial situation. Voss, drawing from his FBI hostage negotiation background, emphasizes asking calibrated questions to guide the other party toward a mutually beneficial outcome without them feeling coerced. A critical mistake is allowing fear or perceived constraints (like the job market) to prevent you from asking for what you deserve, leading to under-compensation or stagnation. The goal is to create a psychological construct where the other party feels they are making a decision that benefits them, rather than feeling forced or manipulated.

Context: This interview segment features clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson discussing negotiation tactics with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss. Peterson initiates the discussion by noting his observation that many people, particularly those he consulted with on career development, are fundamentally unskilled at negotiation. Voss then elaborates on how this lack of skill translates into real-world scenarios, using his experience in high-stakes situations to illustrate the psychological traps people fall into when trying to advance professionally or resolve conflicts.