# 3 ways people relate to money | Alejandra Rojas | TEDxCoolhaven Women Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Wy9IhVnkWY Recap page: https://rapidrecap.app/video/-Wy9IhVnkWY Generated: 2025-11-11T21:40:13.479+00:00 --- ## Quick Overview Alejandra Rojas outlines three distinct ways people relate to money—avoiding it, micromanaging it, and inviting it to the table—sharing her personal story of financial fear and the subsequent realization that financial literacy is as important as emotional awareness for achieving balance. **Key Points:** - Rojas categorizes people's relationship with money into three groups: those who avoid it, those who micromanage it, and those who invite it to the table. - The first group avoids their bank account and focuses only on increasing income, often struggling with financial anxiety. - The second group micromanages money, tracking every cent, which often leads to guilt, shame, and financial trauma stemming from past experiences. - The third group invites money to the table, discussing it openly and viewing financial planning and emotional awareness as equally important. - Rojas shared a personal anecdote about an ex-client, Luisa, who was on track for early retirement but carried financial trauma, illustrating the danger of ignoring emotional ties to money. - Rojas advocates for rewriting one's money story and actively engaging with finances using curiosity rather than fear or control. ![Screenshot at 00:08: Speaker Alejandra Rojas takes the stage at TEDxCoolhaven Women to begin her talk on relating to money.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-00-08.png) **Context:** Alejandra Rojas delivers a TEDx talk at TEDxCoolhaven Women, focusing on the psychological and behavioral connections people have with money. She uses her personal history, including growing up in a household where money was rarely discussed, to frame her analysis of financial mindsets and offers actionable advice based on observed patterns in how different groups handle their finances. ## Detailed Analysis Alejandra Rojas details three archetypes describing how people interact with money, emphasizing that this relationship is often rooted in past experiences, including trauma. The first group avoids discussing money, focusing solely on earning more income without truly engaging with their finances, leading to anxiety. The second group micromanages, tracking every transaction meticulously, often driven by past financial mistakes or trauma, leading to guilt and fear of judgment. Rojas shares that she herself fell into this second category for 16 years. The third, ideal group invites money to the table, viewing financial literacy and emotional awareness as equally crucial. She recounts the story of a former client, Luisa, who was financially successful but still anxious, illustrating how past money trauma can manifest even when income is high. Rojas concludes by urging the audience to rewrite their money story, moving from fear-based management to a curious engagement with their finances, recognizing that they possess the power to shape their financial reality. ### Introduction and Personal Context - Speaker introduces herself as Latina; recalls rushing home at age six to calculate best decisions; money was rarely talked about, only after the fact; she was taught to avoid the topic. ### The Three Groups of Money Relationship - First Group: Avoids it, focuses on income increase, ignores bank accounts - Second Group: Micromanage, tracks every cent, driven by past trauma/guilt - Third Group: Invites it to the table, discusses openly, balances financial literacy with emotional awareness. ### Case Study and Revelation - Shares story of former client Luisa who was financially successful but anxious; financial success did not erase her money trauma; realized the importance of emotional awareness alongside literacy. ### Conclusion and Call to Action - The moment of realization was the end of 22 years of living under the shadow of money; urges audience to take control of their money story, moving from fear/control to curiosity. ![Screenshot at 00:09: Alejandra Rojas stands on stage at TEDxCoolhaven Women, beginning her presentation.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-00-09.png) ![Screenshot at 00:15: Rojas recounts a childhood story involving her father's calculator, setting the stage for the discussion on money.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-00-15.png) ![Screenshot at 00:31: A slide displays a calculator, referencing the speaker's early memory of financial calculation and control.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-00-31.png) ![Screenshot at 00:47: Rojas gestures while discussing how she was not supposed to judge the 'stamped, approved' life she was living.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-00-47.png) ![Screenshot at 01:22: A slide appears showing a sketch of a man adjusting his tie, illustrating the 'buttoned-up, stiff, never emotional' persona associated with one money relationship style.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-01-22.png) ![Screenshot at 03:35: Rojas expresses her past unhappiness, stating she was 'far from balanced' due to her approach to money.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-03-35.png) ![Screenshot at 04:13: The screen displays scattered photographs, illustrating the diverse life experiences Rojas sought to explore globally.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-04-13.png) ![Screenshot at 05:35: The presentation screen displays text: 'FIRST GROUP: AVOIDS IT', classifying the first money relationship archetype.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-05-35.png) ![Screenshot at 06:37: The presentation screen changes to 'SECOND GROUP: MICRO MANAGE', introducing the second archetype.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-06-37.png) ![Screenshot at 07:47: The screen updates to 'THIRD GROUP: INVITES IT TO THE TABLE', presenting the speaker's preferred financial mindset.](https://ss.rapidrecap.app/screens/-Wy9IhVnkWY/00-07-47.png)